I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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