Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
