if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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