dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
