Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
