Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize