sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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