Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
