I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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