Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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