'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Everything about him screamed your future.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
