Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
