i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize