fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize