I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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