You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
