I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
