Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
