After last night, I could never be a politician.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
