dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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