Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
