Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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