i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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