There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
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I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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