holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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