Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm always down for nudity.
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