What a fucking waste of an outfit
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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