We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
there is glitter all over my balls
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize