Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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