So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
