i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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