My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
