can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if only i could text you this smell
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
