I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Holy sore nipples Batman
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
