Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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