As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
