thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Houston, we have a blender
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
