I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
