the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
whose ass print is on the piano?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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