Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
