a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
