i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
