haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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