Nicole vs. Life
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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