In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
