My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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