Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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