i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
