Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
