ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
