dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
