why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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