Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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