this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize