Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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