dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
