I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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